Current location:	Yukio & My Room
Current mood:	contemplative
Current music:	| Nostrand Ratatat|

| Potty Mouth |
There is a house in Vallejo and it happens to be filled with some very amazing people. These boys that live there make me laugh and feel like everything is fun and nothing really matters. Cheap beer flows freely there. That house is basically my Junior year at New Tech High but with over 21 year olds. It's my own little fantasy land filled with plenty of retardation & ridiculousness. But maybe, hmm, 3 weeks ago I became too involved. First with my assistant manager at Peet's and later one of his housemates. Alex made me feel absolutely wonderful. He challenged me. He rivaled me in pompousness. We were a little on the flirtatious side. I stayed with him on a Friday night because we both had to open together the next morning and why not car pool? Half way through that very Saturday shift, he became cold toward me. I asked him if he'd like to go back out to Vallejo together after our shift (since I already needed a ride home) and I kick myself for looking too interested. I hate letting people know how much they mean to me because I AM clingy. During that recently passed Friday night though, I had attracted a new friend of sorts. I didn't think much of it until Alex basically left the picture. This new character was sending me text after text through that horribly long weekend to the point my boyfriend became annoyed. After an excruciatingly long day that had taken its toll on me emotionally, I took Matt (said new friend) up on his new found interest and went on a pretend-a-date with him. That was even more amazing than the drunken fun I had with Alex. We hit up park in Vallejo and later a bench with a view of the bay. After the pretend-a-date, I had him come get me around noon on that coming Wednesday in Napa & take me out to Vallejo to spend a lazy afternoon of colouring together. But shortly after that, he too became distant. Right now I sit here, feeling dumped by two different guys within a week of each other. I've never been on this side of the coin-- it's devastating. I can't think about anything else for very long. Life is mundane. I take comfort in the sack I've been slowly going threw this month. I wear different masks for different people. But I feel as though my life is ticking forward which is good. I look much more adult and beautiful with my new hair style, I've learned how to drive a car (automatic AND stick). But I still want to say fuck you to Matt, grab my crayons out of his desk, and drive off into the sunset which is on my way to a new life in San Diego.