Current location:	60202A
Current mood:	Bored
Current music:	| Stronger Kayne West|

| What Happens Now? |
Do you ever love the way your body feels when you're hungry? How about when you go to eat and your choice is something as simple as rice and beans? So simple yet they sustain me and make me feel so much better than any other diet undergone. I don't feel sluggish anymore. Rice, beans, lentils, greens, and a lot of water. I saw my reflection today in a window. Me in a flowing skirt, a curve hugging tank top even though the temperature was low, a simple necklace with a black cord and a silver coloured narrow rectangle that has random green splotches, and my flowing red hair. I'm was shocked by what I saw. I looked (and I hate to use this word with regard to myself) beautiful. Like a princess that champions simplicity and posses a stunning natural beauty. I understand why people watch me when I'm on the bar at work. I understand why girls on the bus stare at me. I understand why the boys are so much more present now. I used to think people looked at me with so much interest because I must be hideous, overweight, and out of style. No. I'm different. I don't just look like a college bitch, strapped into my iPod at all times, and so un-a-fucking-ware.

I've moved on from my first Desaultes brother onto his older brother Brian. It's been fun. I find I actually miss him right now. I missed Yukio today to an extreme I hadn't experienced in many months and I know it's because my living situation is explosive right now. I just really want comfort. I want to lay in my bed, under the covers, making spoons, and having someone I trust tell me it's okay Joselyn, you're not going to get royally fucked. Dana flipped out at me late Friday night when I had Brian over. The insults she hurled at me do not need to be repeated but let me say they were very ridiculous. So eventually, when she wouldn't get out from up in my face (or leave me alone for that matter), I pushed her back. Needless to say, she tattled and said I attacked her. So now I sit and wait and wonder when the RA will actually get back to me since it's so late in the quarter. The waiting and tension really, really, blows. I hate that this girl has had it in for me -- especially since the most dialouge we've ever shared was on Friday when she was berating me with insults. I don't want drama. I'm in such a groove right now. I'm pleased with myself and my decisions, and ever day I spend is a good one. *sigh* Only 11 days until I come home to Napa.

Heh. This music reminds me of Brian. It's funny that we heard maybe the same 4 songs the entire time we were driving late Friday/early Saturday. I sometimes hate that I'm not zero tolerance anymore. It seems like my good nights always end with cross faded adventures on West Cliff to see the ocean and sing along to Sublime when (and if) it comes on the radio. Heh. Brian got bitched out at work for getting me high as a kite on his lunch break. The reprimand was playful though. I used to view my life as being separated into two different words themselves: 1) Napa 2) Santa Cruz. Now Santa Cruz has a subdivision -- Brian.